the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I think I won the penis lottery.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
