He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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