I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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