Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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