I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I lost the right to judge tonight
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
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