Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
