He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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