Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
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