My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
