what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
They left me at home... I'm a liability
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
