if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Randomize
