Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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