Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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