she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
