am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
