Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
