Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
