its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
