Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
