dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Randomize
