I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
