I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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