the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I take back everything I said about communal showers
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
