Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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