I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
