Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
