Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
i am craving dick and cupcakes
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
