Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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