I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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