just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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