I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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