38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
You dont lie about slip and slides
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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