Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
