My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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