ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
