This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
