How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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