dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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