she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
