I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
