please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Randomize
