It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
