Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
handjob tips. give me some.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
