lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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