Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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