Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
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