I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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