ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
