Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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