so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize