Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
