Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Randomize
