Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize