even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
being pregnant is like rehab
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
