one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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