How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
