Your tits are I can't wait for
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
