Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
