problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Randomize
