Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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