Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
they're like a gay fantastic four
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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