and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Randomize
