Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Randomize
